New Jersey Has Banned Orange Children

Tubby governor Chris Christie has passed a law to prevent his constituents from forcing their children to go to tanning salons. You’ll recall last year a woman named Patricia Krentcil, who is the color of a prune you’d never put in your mouth, was arrested for child endangerment for taking her five year old to a tanning salon. The media came down harder on her than a faulty tanning booth lid. Now she’s making a big deal of how much she supports the law and how terrible it is to forcing kids to tan. The so-called “Tan Mom Law” would ban anyone under the age of 17 from going to a tanning place without their parent’s permission. Jersey already passed a law banning anyone under 14 from using he ultraviolet tanning beds. But who is going to pass a law against the whole “Jersey Shore Look”?

It’s not just a problem in New Jersey and it existed way before that show. I live in New York City and I can tell you that the orange- gelled hair-’roided out- over-tweezed freaks now outnumber the rats in the tri-state area. Staten Island, The Bronx, Long Island, and parts of Connecticut and upstate New York are all infected with this disease. Until all Guido-like behavior, (though it’s not just Italians), is banned, children are going to continue to be turned into the douchebags of tomorrow. We need to stand up and say no more Snookis!

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